'My son and I have resorted to locking up [our things]': Chronic donator gives away her husband's tent, he charges her $300 for it

Author image for Emmy Pratt
Emmy Pratt • Senior Editor
Jan 24, 2024 1:00 PM EST

Giving things away can come from a kind place. If your best friend mentions that she needs to buy a turkey baster and you have an extra turkey baster that you never use, it would be foolish not to give it to her. However, just because someone is generous on the outside doesn't mean they're going about it the right way. They might be stealing cash out of the register at their job to buy you those ornate macrame plant holders! Or worse, they could be stealing from their own families. 

On Redditor, he shared the story of his wife's donation problem to the good people of r/AmIThe*ssh*le. She is prone to giving out large amounts of money and giving away other family members' possessions without asking them permission. She gave away a $300 tent that her husband won in a raffle, which was his final straw.

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  • 01
    0.20 r/AmltheAsshole u/Salty_University_202. 1d AITA for making my wife pay me for something she gave away
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 02
    My wife has a bad habit of giving away or lending out things that don't belong to her. I've lost count of how many times I go to look for something of mine only for her to say she lent it to somebody. She also takes forever to get the item back, she once lent my stuff to a coworker and refused to ask for it back for a month. And I'll never forget the day my usually quiet, reserved son snapped at her for trying to give away his Nintendo switch. If I wasn't also fed up with her behavior I would ha
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 03
    Last week I won a $300 tent in a raffle. I had no plans on using it so I was selling it. When I found a buyer and went to look for it I couldn't find it. When I asked my wife she said she gave it to a friend of ours. I got mad at her and said she had no right to give it away. Her defense was since I didn't spend money on it and was i planning on using it, it made sense to give it away for free. I told her that wasn't her decision to make but she just kept repeating herself.
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 04
    I had enough of this and said she's either going to pay me herself or get the money from who she gave it to, and if she didn't I'd get law enforcement involved. Since she rather die than ask a friend for money she paid me out of her own pocket.
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 05
    This issue eventually got around to her family. While they did say she should have talked to me first they also reprimanded me for asking for payment. They reasoned that since I didn't actually buy the tent I didn't loose any money and it went to a friend who could actually put it to good use. I got several text saying I should be ashamed for extorting my wife for money. I think I have every right to want to be paid for something of mines that was taken but every one keeps emphasizing the fact t
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 06
    Novel Sky8624 • 1d Partassipant [1] NTA. She absolutely shouldn't have done that. What it sounds like is your family and friends don't understand the magnitude of the situation. Of course they think it's absurd because they don't know that she does this all the time. You're just finally fed up with and put your foot down. Honestly, sounds like you should've done that a while ago. How would she feel if her stuff just went missing? Tell her she stops and if she doesn't I would give her a taste of
    via u/Novel_Sky8624
  • 07
    yarnycarley • 1d I'd start giving her stuff away, but then I'm petty AF ... 5.3k
    via u/yarnycarley
  • 08
    Significant_Alps3267 • 1d Partassipant [1] Completely agree. I doubt she would like that 41.2k ...
    via u/Significant_Alps3267
  • 09
    vivianlight 1d ● She already does that, including loans, OP answered I think this is a weird (I wouldn't know how to call it, "people pleaser" isn't enough) psychological problem and she should run to therapy asap ... 1.6k
    via u/vivianlight
  • 10
    CP81818 1d Partassipant [1] ● I think this is a weird (I wouldn't know how to call it, "people pleaser" isn't enough) psychological problem and she should run to therapy asap The mother of a friend of mine did this growing up. She wanted to be seen as the most generous person ever, even if it meant flat out stealing from her own child. Friend's favorite clothes, toys, presents from late grandparents, all fair game and she was expected to deal with that cheerfully because 'I gave them to someone
    via u/CP81818
  • 11
    Needless to say, they are no longer in touch. OP, this could become a serious issue for your kid. You say he's already acting uncharacteristically because he's worried mom is going to give away things that are precious to him. It's a really short leap to thinking that mom values other people more than she values him (or, IMO, values the opinion others have of her over her own son). It's unhealthy for a kid to grow up worrying that things he love are going to be blithely given away by his mom, it
    via u/CP81818
  • 12
    Slappyxo • 1d Partassipant [3] My mother did this too and this comment hit the nail on the head. My mum used to do it not out of the goodness of her heart, but because she wanted to look good and well off. All my favourite toys, books and clothes would always go missing, and when I asked mum where they were she would shrug and say I must have misplaced it - only for me to find it at a friend's house, with my friend saying my mum had given it to their parents. It got so bad I used to store most o
    via u/Slappyxo
  • 13
    • 1d Certified Proctologist [29] Worth-Season3645 NTA...does your wife give away any of her own things? Or just everyone else's? ... Reply 2.5k
    via u/Worth-Season3645
  • 14
    Salty University_202 OP. 1d Her stuff as well, she will give away something of hers then turnaround and buy a new one for herself 2.2k
    via u/Salty_University_202
  • 15
    9smalltowngirl. 1d Partassipant [2] Seriously she needs therapy. This is a problem. She's going to alienate you and your son. She's going to push this too far and then not understand why you and your son take your and move out. 43.3k
    via u/9smalltowngirl
  • 16
    seriouslaser . 1d Partassipant [2] There is legit an episode of Law & Order: Criminal Intent guest-starring Stephen Colbert that deals with this exact issue. Colbert's character's mother has a pathological need to do good by donating, and she donated nearly everything of hers and her son's, and couldn't understand why he'd have a problem with that. 1k
    via u/seriouslaser
  • 17
    Significant_Rub_4589 • 1d Do y'all share finances? Bc if not even when she gives away her own things she's hurting the family, bc she then uses family funds to buy replacements without asking. ... 161
    via u/Significant_Rub_4589
  • 18
    Salty_University_202 OP. 1d Separate, even before we got married she was prone to loan large amounts of money 4311 311
    via u/Salty_University_202

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family drama aita marriage donation mother tent relationship-drama donations marriage-drama relationships dad family reddit thread mom son Father
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